power of sin

"I dont think that there are many people that can stay happy for long periods of time. Joy is a temporal thing. Its brief capacity, as reference, gives it its pleasure. And so some of the magic I was feeling began to fade. Its like a man who gets a new saw for Christmas, on the first morning feeling its weight and wondering its power, hardly thinking of it as a tool from which he will produce years of labor. Early on I made the mistake of wanting spiritual feelings to endure and remain romantic. Like a new couple expecting to always feel in love, I operated my faith thinking God and I were going to walk around smelling flowers. When this didn't happen, I became confused."

This small paragraph from a book by Donald Miller brings a lot of feelings to the surface. He follows this by talking about how his loss of exhilaration was less frustrating than the return of his sins. This is where I get confused. I feel the first part of this deeply, but this concept of sin. Its one that I can not grasp. By definition, sin is something that is immoral, wrong, wicked or offensive. This is true in a human capacity or in the eyes of God. I don't feel like a sinner. I never have. Thet may sound vain, but sin is not something I think about.

I want to be a person who feels joy and happiness for long periods of time. I understand that like the saw, gifted to the man at Christmas, spirituality produces years of labor, but I want to feel its weight and wonder of its power. I can own that...I cant own that I need my God to forgive me to become a better person. I simply need to become a better person for me and for my higher power. Whatever that higher power looks like.

The power of sin is similar to the power of religion. It feels like a way people control others. I step back to take a look and I feel like christians have created this concept of sin to gather more believers. I simply think there is a better way to spread the word. I just don't know what that is yet.